I've never wanted to be a church hopper. I'm a preacher's kid, and I remember my dad going on about people who attended this or that church for a year or two, then hopped to another and got involved for a few months, then moved on to another. All I've wanted since we moved to Laramie was to find one church, get involved, and stick with it.
This plan seemed very feasible last fall. We'd tried two of the main line churches here in town and found that they didn't seem to quite meet the criteria we were searching for when someone suggested the "E" church. A largish body (but not gigantic, around 150), but with an untraditional take on the traditional. We visited once (found out the church website was wrong and that adult discipleship studies start at 9, not 9:30), then again. It was different from what we were used to, but over all seemed okay.
So by the first of this year I had been through the process of becoming qualified to serve in the children's program (application, interview, background check, CPR certification...might as well apply with the FBI, too) and we were attending a small group. We hit a family night or two, and things seemed great.
Until our family ran into a bump in the road of life, and we didn't feel like there was really anyone to connect with about this particular issue, especially for Smiddy, who felt the bump the most. And then the floor fell out from under the children's program, and we ended up with a seven year old who cried after church because there was nothing for him during the entire service. We talked to a few members, tried to decide if this was something that would change with time or was just "they way things are" and generally agonized for weeks.
We're now officially church shopping again, and I hope this time we're doing it smarter. We're taking our time, we're asking questions, and we're not jumping into anything. And this has made me think: what is it that is necessary for our family to find in a church?
You know how when you hit the grocery store, you have a list of Things You Must Have Before You Can Create Another Meal: eggs, milk, bread, lettuce, whatver. And then, if the budget allows, there are things that would be nice to have but you can live without: tomatoes for the salad, chocolate syrup for the milk, chips. Well, I'm in that place with church. What is on the Must-Have list, and what things are just chocolate syrup?
The big thing on my Must Have Church Shopping List is good Bible-based teaching. Yes, I'm sure social justice and parenting tips are relevant to my life, but the Scriptures are so much more so. I want to work my way though a book of the Bible and read the words of Christ and apply them, not find a couple of passages that fit in with the topical study on what it means to "Be the Body" of Christ. Because you know what? Being the body of Christ is in there, and if we're in the Word, we'll get to it.
Another thing on my Must Have list is good children's programming. Yes, I realize I am responsible to see that Chaos and Mayhem and Frenzy grow up knowing how to live the Christian life (and with a real relationship with Christ), and that time on Sunday is part of this. And we need to be challenged throughout the week, Smiddy and I. Not just a small group that meets sometimes (and seems to get smaller each week), but a core group of people who will hold us accountable.
So what's on my Chocolate Syrup list? Good music. The opportunity to participate in leading worship. A men's group for Smiddy. People who notice when we're gone and check in to see if everything is okay. Friends for the kids, and maybe even a Grandpa or Grandma to adopt. Service opportunities.
I don't know where most of you stand, church-wise, but I'm curious. How long have you been doing what you're doing? How did you come to be where you are? And what's on your Eggs & Milk list for church? How about your Chocolate Syrup list?
Comments (6)
Too bad you don't live here...I would highly recommend my church. Seems to have all you're looking for. Much the same reason I chose it and have been there for 4 years.
When T and I first got married (10 years ago next month), we started
church shopping. At that time, we had been going to a large college
group sponsored by a large church. However, newly married, in
addition to solid Bible teaching, we craved a smaller venue. We wanted
a church that felt less big city and more small town. And...we
wanted to see ALL ages. Families with kids. Seasoned citizens.
The works. We found it and stay there until just recently.
Unfortunately the church had some bumps in the road. Many of the
families disappeared. The seasoned citizens became more seasoned but
less able to be salt and light. We have learned much from watching a
church slowly fade. We have learned how important it is for the
leadership of a church to have passion and purpose that is from
Christ. They need to be able to articulate why the church is there, where it fits in God's plan. So we have sought out a church
that is alive, seeking the will of God and faithful with its finances.
Other considerations this time around included a good family and
children's ministry. In particular we sought out one with an AWANA
program. Of course, the church must have solid Bible teaching and
preaching. That is a must. The music has been an added benefit. Anyway, that has been our experience. I hope that helps. Continue to pray about it. God will lead you.
There's a Mennonite church in my mother's hometown (some 14 hours from here) that I would love to attend. If I could only afford the tickets every week...
I'm a Catholic. We have a big church with about 9,000 registered parishioners. That is too big of a church for me! I envy my Baptist and AG friends who have a smaller church. A smaller church gives you the opportunity to get to know each other like family. That's on my big wish list. I also wish there were more times for Bible studies at my church. There is a morning group for women, but I work. There is an evening group, but it's on the night that I have to work! I volunteered for one year in the youth ministry thinking that I would meet more people. Nope. So I am still finding my way in my church.
It's simpler being a Mormon. It's all based on geographical boundaries (like school districts, only you can't get a transfer). You just go to church where they tell you to go to church AND YOU LIKE IT (or not). I've often wondered how it would be to choose your own congregation. I'm always interested in what other people's priorities are. We just have to take what we get. :)
@madhousewife - That's interesting...never knew you were assigned to a specific location!!